This about to be a somewhat emotional post… so here goes (you’ve been forewarned):
Alright, let`s talk friendship, a concept that I`m not sure I have a hard time grasping, or a term that is used too loosely in society these days.
Oftentimes, when the topic of friendship comes up, I’m not shy to admit that I don’t have really any friends. Now I’m sure some of my friends who are reading this will feel a bit insulted but let me explain…
Throughout most of my life I had a best friend. Much like a conventional best-friendship, we did everything together, told each other everything, our families hung out, we knew pretty much everything about one another. In my book, that’s friendship. Unfortunately, we grew apart (I think). I still can’t pinpoint what actually happened to our friendship but what I can tell you is that I’ll be the first one to admit that I am a selfish friend. Looking back now, I don’t think I can really be friends with multiple people because subconsciously I think everyone has a sense of favouritism and there’s always that one friend that you trust more, want to hang out with the most, and the one that just truly gets you, so you’ll always gravitate most to him/her.
Now the reason I say I don’t have “friends” is that I no longer have that relationship with anyone else anymore other than my husband, and family (which is a whole other ballpark because I mean they’re blood, so there is some type of automatic friendship and a level of genuine caring that comes from being related). If I would consider family as friends… then in that case I’m extremely fortunate and abundant (S/O to my seester👯, who knows me better then I know myself). But if not, all my friends I’ve acquired through my husband, and for that I feel really lucky and well surrounded but I mean… if it weren’t for him, these wouldn’t have these friends, you know?
I do have someone in my life who’s friendship I will forever cherish, and even though we don’t talk often enough, the importance she shows to our friendship and vice versa radiates no matter how long we’ve gone without talking and where we are in our respectives lives, we always make it a point to check-in from time to time (love you Jo!❤️). To want to keep her all to myself would be a shame because her friendship is truly one-in-a-million and everyone in her surroundings deserves her as their friend.
I feel so blessed and really grateful that I got to marry my best friend, but sometimes you want some girl time with someone who isn’t biased because they’re family. I always envied the kind of friendship that my god-daughter has with her BFF (granted she’s only 16) because they’re only 2 in their circle, and there’s a sense of comfort and security that no one will get in the way of that kind of unbreakable bond. Think Sex & the City but if it were just Carrie & Samantha, that’s the kind of childish yet mature relationship that I’ve always wanted to share with my best friend.
I know… I’m quite confusing! I always thought of myself as this social butterfly that likes to be surrounded by a bunch of people at all times, but in growing up, I’ve learnt that I’m actually quite the opposite. I believe I’m what the new social media trends likes to call: an extroverted introvert. I like to keep to small groups of loyal people the odd times when I’m not in comfy clothes having pizza and beer watching movies on a weekend night with my husband. I live for long meaningful conversations, over coffee or wine while playing cards or a board game, or even watching the Bachelor (haha…oops😉).
I guess all I’m really trying to say is that; I really miss having a best friend.
xoxo,
beingbrittney.
alongwithb.com 